We’re different but alike.
Yes, we come from different walks of life; we know what we know about our rights, about justice, and know about how to set boundaries. We also know that doing good deeds makes us feel good. But did you also know that this feel-good emotion arises from compassion? Look at any child and find the truth in their purity. And the good news is that we all came baring the same as compassion is what links and makes us stronger as a species.
Snoopy
As I was mulling over my topic on compassion today, I thought about Snoopy. The genius of this cartoon character portrays timeless wisdom that causes me to pause and ponder some of the big questions in life. Snoopy’s lighthearted humor challenges me to learn more about myself, and I think he has plenty of wisdom for you, too.
As I pondered, one particular ‘wise’ cartoon-strip came to mind. And, more or less, here is what it said:
“I really understand, and appreciate how one should
love one’s neighbor as much as one loves oneself,” Snoopy starts,
“the only trouble is the people next door;
I can’t stand them.” ~ my version of that Snoopy comic-strip as per my memory.
- I really understand.
- But.
- The trouble is the people, the neighbor.
- They behave differently than the way I would.
- I don’t like them.
- Hmmm.
In this example, I find that, like Snoopy, we all understand and appreciate how we should behave. And like Snoopy, we don’t get how exactly to go about doing this ‘something’ that we feel we ‘really’ understand. Why do we get our lines crossed? That’s what I’ll attempt to reveal here today.
Treat others well
In one form or another, I think that we’ve all bumped into Snoopy’s dilemma.
We’re not dysfunctional; we understand the moral.
For me, “Do onto others, as you would have them do unto you,” is one I grew up repeating. I’m sure I’m not the only one as it’s a good solid idea that many religions use as core teaching.
We know that if our goal is to work toward a more peaceful and loving version of ourselves, we must strive to live/become the “Love neighbor as oneself” quote. We get it!
Yet, we have some trouble putting that knowledge into practice. Why is it that our relationships with each other are still lacking so? I’m sure you think about this as well. Where do you go for answers?
I fervently believe that answers come to us from all places especially when we need an unexpected source of wisdom for the hard questions. At such times there’s this weird thing I do with books when I need such wisdom. In a separate article where I spoke about Karma, I told you about how I randomly open books to see what wisdom the pages hold.
During one such consultation of Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, the answer I received was this: The fault we often carry into our relationships is impatience.
“Impatience? Me?” was my first reaction. But I continued to read and pay attention, and author Richard Carlson’s assessment spoke to me in this one line stated in the book:
“The more patient we are, the more accepting
we will be of what is,
rather than insisting that life be
exactly as we would like it to be.” ~ Richard Carlson
Now you see how that weird thing I do to find knowledge works!
I ask the question and the book replies.
Try it.
***
The interpretation has takeaways for everyone.
Like Snoopy, we appreciate the wisdom, but then our impatience weaves in obstacles.
“…they eat different food and smell differently; they dress differently, and they even worship differently than I do,” says a didactic voice we recognize. Might there be something you too recognize in that voice? Do you hear it as well? For now, let’s allow that voice to play in the background while you and I do a little exercise on the side.
Gauge for yourself.
How well do you do the following?
- Work on being patient with strangers/neighbors?
- Meld what you know with actually embracing your neighbors, regardless of how different they appear at first?
- Do you love them the same way you love yourself?
Big questions, I know. And I also know that your cultural education has taught you a lot about setting boundaries and about your right to justice. I’m not for a moment contesting these human rights.
Justice, that most crucial idea that should never be denied to any, requires that we set boundaries to our lives as justice gives us a feeling of what’s right about life and how we should strive to live. That is how I believe, knowledge acquisition enters into the picture. And as mentioned, setting boundaries, well, that comes with justice. All good, right?
***
As souls with bodies, we want to do good deeds. And we do; only we do them when they mirror our boundaries and sense of justice. But my lovelies, with the world becoming more and more diverse, our neighbors will sometimes be people with different sets of boundaries and justice patterns. We need to embrace diversity and still maintain a sincere willingness to want to do good deeds.
Bear in mind, though, that there is a limit on how much good we can do for another. I trust you know what I mean. Because, really, there is a limit on how much “good” is good. Perhaps a topic for another day.
The closest answer to this willingness to doing good deeds is in finding a balance. And smack in the middle of this ‘balance’ there needs to exist this notion of compassion.
Find Compassion
Compassion helps us understand the knowledge that makes so much sense to us in theory, namely, that we need to treat and love others the way we want to be treated and loved. And more importantly, compassion helps us to understand our connectedness to all of creation.
We come from different walks of life, and we carry with us everywhere we go what we know as the boundaries and justice of our lands. In time we might discard them and learn those of others who show us kindness.
But regardless of how long it takes us to exchange our thing for anothers’ things or if and when it happens, we will always be connected.
Let’s try harder to meld and to embrace our differences to feel a connection.
Find Connection
We are already connected.
This is what we need to be willing to accept as truth.
Let’s work on controlling our impatience and work on respecting our connectedness.
Compassion is what will center us and remind us of this connectivity. Compassion will help us understand that sometimes our needs have to be sublimated to ‘meet’ those of others.
Because what we want for our neighbors is the same thing we want for ourselves. Now, can we please have a standing ovation for compassion? It’s high time we did!
THANKS FOR READING.
I Wish You Miracles.
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Hi Selma,
Finding wisdom through opening a book caught my eye. I tried it. I got my book of quotes called Believe, from Peter Pauper Press.
On my random page was the following African Proverb.
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” Reading the quote felt like God was speaking.
Thank you for connecting with me.
Hey, Diane. Yes. I do that ALL-THE-TIME! And every time I get a reply. It’s another way that I find to appreciate the wisdom the books hold.
The quote you mentioned is exceptionally wonderful. Soothing. Reassuring. How wonderful of you to share it with me here. Thanks so much. Be safe and calm, Diane. I wish you Miracles
Loved your Snoopy paraphrase… thanks for the connection that you facilitate with your written word. Next time I can’t bear my neighbor will be sure to remember Selma’s Snoppy.
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A wisdom packed essay with strategies, considerations, and reasons to remember that we are all members of humankind and part of the natural world. The only us and them exists in our minds and attitudes. We don’t have to all agree, but we do owe it the universe to respect all creatures large and small, human and not. Thanks for putting words to an important message.
With gratitude, always…
As a daughter of a passive-aggressive, sado-maso nation that is Slovenia, to do onto others how you would like to be treated is a dangerous piece of advice. Just too many wish to be treated badly. 🙁 This is why I fled to hedonistic, loving Italy. Here people smile more, suffer less, love more openly, but also demand more and don’t limit themselves. Interesting, this life. In any case, compassion should always come first.
“The more patient we are, the more accepting
we will be of what is,
rather than insisting that life be
exactly as we would like it to be.” ~ Richard Carlson
Patience is a virtue in short supply, generally. For my own self, sometimes I’m terribly generous, extending it to others who “technically” in the moment, do not warrant it. But perhaps I extend it anyhow simply because I tend to want to whole-heartedly believe that at our core, we ARE good. But life isn’t black/white. It’s a rainbow of shades. And if anything, I’m a bit of an odd-ball. I offer to others what I do not offer to myself. So I may be kind or gentle or sympathetic or very broadminded towards others, even if they’re behaving rather badly, but then, when that weird “line” is crossed …. watch out! It’s only so long I can hold my tongue.
Funny thing though, the more I step back and “out” and look at things, situations, circumstances etc. and think about how people react – two things come to light: #1: being equally nasty or explosive or aggressive in the moment does little to actually offer anything valuable because #2: often, the people thusly engaged are hurting. And by this, I mean, they feel helpless in the face of whatever circumstance or situation, and with all kinds of accumulated experiences, baggage, stress etc., they engage in the most immediate and familiar way – lashing out, or acting selfishly, cruelly etc.
And yet, here then – the idea of patience comes waltzing in …. and learning to foster and nurture it, within ourselves, thusly being able to extend it to others, as a natural response, way of being. Sounds like a breath of fresh air! But I would add, the second part of the quote is extremely important: …. we need to learn what it means to stop running about and insisting that life unfold as we, in our limited capacities, believe it must and should. And that’s a tall order for many. Myself included. Throw in the “always on” society we’ve nurtured, fostered and constructed, and all this “immediacy” has taken on a new and rather warped definition. I also think compassion comes to be understood and known, when we begin to really stop, and listen, hearing – and accepting – just with the intent of listening, to another person, without judgment or critique. It’s hard to foster this, when more often than not, people “listen” with intent to reply, as opposed to just hearing, and acknowledging, without the expectations or demands of anything in reply or return.