eating away like the putrid cancer that I am holding tight the lies and secrets deep fossilized I was until the fool turned me over under day blight, he's finding me not worth the keep there’s always the hunger problem I see itching inside his gnarly head then there’s the changing & disinfecting imposed on me inside this narrow cell “Crusty with drool.” The scandal digger raps insistently, “bloody like hell.” He spits, and with sneers punctuates but he could be talking to the refrigerator none of that registers or motivates I'd rather be safe under the sycamore where rent is none, and no one rules my ways rotting, cramped, where sunlight never reaches is the place where secrets are meant to stay here he adjusts, preps, and twists me pinching at lies that will seal his fate I see him chattering with his fingers and adding more to amalgamate reeks of betrayal, his soul a shadow perfect environment for lies to propagate he’s in it for gains, a short-lived illusion amends and restitution will arrive too late if day-light is painful and night stirs more his fire of outrageous maneuvers-- the jerk 'll go berserk tonight is comeuppance for horning in on others' murk under trees unmarked let cancerous secrets expire *** © 2021 selmamartin.com
“A secret’s worth
depends on the people
from whom it must be kept.”
~ Carlos Ruiz Zafón
“Three may keep a secret
if two of them are dead.”
~ Benjamin Franklin
Written for dVerse, for the theme of meet the bar with conceit where Björn
prompts us as follows:
Today I thought we should revisit a prompt from 2013 by Anna and use the concept of conceit. A conceit is defined as an extended and complex metaphor that creates that apart from creating an element of surprise. If a metaphor is used to enhance imagery the conceit is better suited to describe an intricate metaphysical or emotional subject.
2013 by Anna: Conceits make unusual and unlikely comparisons between two very different things, allowing readers to look at the world in a new way. Similes and metaphor may explain things vibrantly but they tend to become boring at times because of their predictable nature. Conceits, on the other hand, surprise and shock the readers by making farfetched comparisons. Hence, conceit is used as a tool in literature to develop the interest of the readers. Helen Gardner observed that “a conceit is a comparison whose ingenuity is more striking than its justness” and that “a comparison becomes a conceit when we are made to concede likeness while being strongly conscious of unlikeness.”
Photo: Wood Image by Ron Porter from Pixabay
Clock Image by Comfreak from Pixabay
Thanks for reading.
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I did not understand the form of the poem,but liked the flow of words……. Wonderful, Selma 🌺
I appreciate you. I don’t understand the concept too well, myself but I did what I could with it. Thanks for reading and liking the word flow. Be well, Jane. xo
Most welcome, dear Selma🤗♥️
Wonderful, wornderful work with the prompt, Selma: those cancerous secrets! The jerk going beserk! Such rich imagery: I love it ❤️
It pleases me so much that you read, Ingrid, and glad the imagery worked for you. Thanks so much for supporting my efforts. I treasure you. xo
My pleasure Selma ❤️
From what I understand, conceit compares two very unlikely things but not as subtly as a simile or a metaphor? Job sooo well done on this fantabulous poem! “Like the cancer that I am”
Reeks of betrayal, his soul a shadow, perfect environment for lies to propagate- wow, you made it so powerful and easy to visualise! It reminds me of the Benjamin Franklin quote you’ve quoted there.
Such an amazing poem for the prompt!
You are a gem, dear Sam. And your words of encouragement seep right into my soul. Thanks dearly. Be well, my friend. I bless you.
Shall wait until your next newsletter😀 I’m about to announce a little break from WordPress. Meanwhile I can brag to my friends about having a pen pal from the most futuristic country in the world 😀 🇯🇵🤝🇮🇳
So nice tree sculpture. I like. But cancer words use that I can’t understand. What means that.
Hey, Raj. Yes, I was pleased with the tree sculpture that shows distinctly in that picture. As for cancer, it’s a sickness– a bad sickness that spreads rather quickly in the body of living things. Here, I’m comparing such a sickness with the way secrets (and lies) spread. And how sometimes secrets (and lies) that hurt others should be left where they are. Many times, those secrets and lies backfire and do irreparable damage to the person/persons who uncover those secrets and lies. Furthermore, everything has an expiration date… enough is enough.
I hope you understand it better now, Raj. I appreciate the question and I’m so happy you are reading my work. Thank you. Be well.
Nice you help me it information that . Ian so glad
This is deep and definitely strikes the meditation chord. Nice piece ❣️
Strikes the meditation cord. That is good. Mine is stroke everytime I read poetry. And good literature and all written words. I don’t always arrive at a clear understanding but I love it when that happens. Thanks for reading. xo
Wonderfully done, Selma! 💕🙂
Thanks, Harmony ♥️
Very powerful…
Thank you so much for the encouraging words, Ain. They empower me. xo
Only one word to describe it—Awesome!
Oh, Kathryn. Thank you.
You homed in on the darkness, the morbidity, the ugliness of cancer …. this is stellar writing, stellar.
Your words made my heart whistle a happy tune, Helen. Thank you. xo
Selma, what a great take! Terrific imagery.
Terrific, you say, Punam dear? Ahh. You made my day. Thank you.
Oh this is one great conceit, Selma! Wonderfully done. The cancer of secrets, buried and unearthed, perhaps for blackmail, perhaps for lucre, but a betrayal all the same, and the cancer can turn on its wielder just as easily and unexpectedly. Spoken in the voice of the cancerous secret itself, it is powerfully characterized by its poisonous and destructive exclamations.
pax,
dora
You, Dora are so right on. That is the message I intended to pass on in this conceit. I am not sure I understood the form the way it was meant but I gave it my all with the resources I have. The best one can do. So, for you to say what you said made me feel that I did the form justice. You got me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes! And in the POV of the secret itself. Glad you saw all that. xoxo. I bless you.
This is incredibly potent! This stood out in particular for me; “his soul a shadow perfect environment for lies to propagate he’s in it for gains, a short-lived illusion amends and restitution will arrive too late.”💝
Thrilled you came to read and comment, Sanaa. Much gratitude to you, my sweet lady. Be well. xo
This is an amazing poem Selma, the words are powerful and on point. I loved your concept of cancer and the meaning it holds in this poem 💖
Daphny, my sweets. So glad you found something good in the way the poem turned out. I think I like this conceit concept. I might try it again even if I fall flat on my face. haha. Thanks for the support. I appreciate you. Be well. xo
Failure is a part of life depends on how we take the fall and how we emerge after the fall 😉
You’re most welcome Selma, be well you too ❣️🌸
You have written a wonderful poem, Selma. Th picture goes perfect with your words.
Over the moon happy that you read, Dwight. Thanks. And yes, I was pleased with the picture I found on Pixabay. Be well, my friend. I bless you.
The connection between the secrets and disease… I think it is very clear and well executed.
A fabulous write about cancer in the body and soul (lies), that had me waiting patiently for the sun to shine. I hope that one day those cancerous secrets will expire.
secrets are cancerous for all involved, those in the know and those not told … powerful imagery Selma, an awesome read!
Thanks so much for reading. xoxo
Wow, this is brilliant Selma!
Brilliant you say? Aww, you! Thanks. xoxo
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Seems like someone is angry. Out with him! Ha. Cheers, Muriel
Out with him, yes. Thanks for reading and commenting, Muriel. Blessings. xo