Belladonna Mama of Belladonna Flashlight, who I just happened to meet in
The reader has asked a question that’s too close to the one I’ve been
responding to in my Espresso posts.
I can already tell she’s a good human and a concerned mother who’s “sick and tired of young girls thinking that beauty is only related to their looks. Therefore they feel little need to put any significant energy into their interior. As a mom of two girls, I would feel like a failure if my girls depended on their looks to get them in any door.”
I just love it when I can help, so I dedicate this post to replying to Belladonna & girls with the
markers I’ve set aside to expand in my Espressos.
BTW, you will not see ‘a pretty face’ in this list.
WHAT MAKES PRETTY, PRETTY? Who one is internally is the marker of pretty. What’s inside is for the person who houses that virtue to know. How we get to see what’s inside a person is revealed through that person’s behavior. In short, it's about being BEAUTY-FULL like Mr. Rogers. I've come up with 10 attributes. 1. Is this person’s demeanor warm? If so, that comes from being loving. Pret-ty! 2. Is this person authentic (upfront, gentle, direct)? Yup! That comes through from being honest. 3. Does this person know that life doesn’t revolve around them solely? This shows sensitivity & humility. Aww, so pretty. 4. Does this person have the ability to keep their eyes on the bigger picture? Emotionally? Rationally? At their age level? So this person recognizes that we have choices. Good. Then that person is intelligent. Intelligence is pretty! 5. Does this person use challenges as positive means to refine themselves? Then this person is genuine. Wonderful! This shows assertiveness. Pretty! 6. So this person loves fully and has the wherewithal to abandon the relationship when it’s not working? That’s courageous. Pretty! 7. this person also knows it is not the loudness of one’s voice but the depth of one’s character that gives one courage to thrive. Then this person is confident. Pretty! 8. Composure— oh so pretty! Composure allows you to maintain a certain stillness in the face of life’s changes. When you have this, you understand that the less you react, defend, explain, or become fearful or controlling, the more command you have over a situation. See? Pretty! 9. Kindness — oh my, blindingly pretty! The kindness of your spirit and how you treat, think about and speak to others comes from a genuine and sensitive place. NOT A WEAKNESS, but this makes sense only to those who carry benevolence in their hearts already. It is the greatest virtue! 10. Elegance: See all the above and know that if you're endowed with the other nine attributes, you’re already elegant. Yes, you! Elegance is that grace about your appearance, personal style, & behavior. When you possess elegance, you're graceful even in challenging times. You're able to handle yourself in a noble and ethical manner. You hold good posture and energy. You are vulnerable yet self-assured. You are an example of beauty. You are pretty! Oh, you're so pretty.
We’re here to help each other, and I hope you see this post not as condescending
but genuine: from one mother to another. Please add to the list if you know of other
ways of recognizing the markers of a pretty person. *wink*
You don’t owe me a thing, dear Belladonna. It’s my pleasure to do this and follow
along in the conversation you started.
Photo of sisters bonding: Image by jamieaaa from Pixabay
Be well, you and your girls. Shalom, and I wish you miracles.
- Day 26: NaPoWriMo 2024 Alliteration, Consonance, Assonance - April 26, 2024
- Reblog: “Snap-beans in a Wooden Bowl”(c) 2024 by Michael L. Utley - April 26, 2024
- Day 25: NaPoWriMo 2024–The “Proust Questionnaire” - April 25, 2024
Fabulous points! A woman’s soul, her inner self, is WAY more important to me, than her outward physical attributes. <3
So happy you found these fabulous points. If you have more, please let me know.
And you’re right, outward decorations are not what makes one beautiful. (Pretty for the girls I kept in mind when I wrote this one)
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I’m honored. XoXo
Such a beautiful list of enviable virtues. This is indeed the real beauty that we all should aspire to. Thanks for sharing Selma
Hey, Sadje. XO. I’m sure you realize this is the same list I’m developing in my espressos. only, I’ve started it from bottom to top.😉
Thanks for giving me your lovely thoughts. If you know of more ‘virtues’ to add, let me know. 😊 be well. Happy weekend. 💗
I think you’ve done a comprehensive job of it. These are the basic good traits we all value. Others can be variations on them.
My thoughts exactly. 💗 🙏
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Listening. (K)
Yes. Indeed. Thanks, K 💗
A wonderful response to Belladonna’s post and sentiment. Your words are insightful. 💖
Thanks for saying, M. 💗
Great list and descriptions! I think laugh lines are pretty – especially the wrinkles at the corners of the eyes.
Yes! I think so too. Thanks for saying that. XoXo
XoXo
A wonderful list in response to Belladonna’s post (I went over to take a look and was impressed). She writes beautifully, as do you, my friend. I agree it’s essential to emphasise to our young girls (and boys too, come to that) how important these inner qualities are. We need to build them up from the inside out. I make a point of doing this with my dear daughter and my three granddaughters (also with my son and grandson, although the youngster is only seven). However, it’s never too early to be encouraging these inner ‘virtues’ in any child. I would add generosity of spirit and gentleness to your list (although I think that last one would come under kindness). Perhaps, having all the above qualities would be the ultimate of pretty. Thanks for sharing, Selma. Xx 💛🤗💛
Generosity of spirit and gentleness. Yes! Though I think kindness contains those virtues. Yes? Maybe.
Believe me, the pleasure of receiving your comments warms my heart every time. I just love you.
You are 💯 % here all the time. Thank you.
So, I want to send you what I consider my best words this weekend. It’s from my once-a-month newsletter. It includes photos. I think you might enjoy these. Take a look. Flimsy, woo-woo perhaps. It’s my elevator pitch this month. No pressure to subscribe, They’re words: the best encouragement I have to offer this week. Please read.
http://eepurl.com/h4IEOX
Thanks for reading. XoXo XoXo
Hello Selma. Thank you for your reply and also the beautiful message it contained for me. I am very touched and honoured that you feel this way. I have had a look at your newsletter which I thought was wonderful – beautiful words and lovely photos. Really heartwarming. I have happily prescribed to this, and am looking forward to receiving more of them from you. I found your ‘thank you for prescribing to my emails’ in my inbox. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to open the PDF you sent. I’m not sure why, but it kept taking me to an error page? Very strange. I’m sure it’s just one of those technical hitches we all get from time to time. Thank you so much again for such kindness, my dear Selma. With love. Ellie xxx 💗💐💙🌼💛
I just replied to you in another post.
It gave you an error message?. Oh no! I’ll see into fixing it. I hate to have wasted your precious time. Will let you know when I manage to fix it. (Though I’m all thumbs with tech—) Thanks for the heads up.
Thanks for subscribing my sweet. Once a month only. Count on it. I bless you. Xoxo
Such a beautiful list for a Beauty. This is indeed real beauty that we all sound aspire to. Outward decoration are not makes one beautiful. All the qualities would be the ultimate of preety .! 🙎
so happy you read, Raj. Stay sweet and elegant as you are.
Thanks Selma!
Beyond the book cover… that is where folks should be looking. Outside fashion was never my strong suite. If my own smile and concern does not shine enough then I would with gladness let that person pass. Competing with the ‘Jones’ as it were is not where I come from. Let us all bring our light together to let love shine.
Let’s. Yes, Jules. Thanks for reading and adding wisdom. I appreciate you. xoxo
💕
I am beyond flattered and I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH! Your ideal of beauty is what I want every young girl to embrace. I can not thank you enough for adding to the conversation of what makes pretty; pretty! We need to talk about this as often as possible!
Your positive response lights me up. Thank you.
As you can see I was fleshing out my espressos on the very subject. I did my research (outward/inwardly) and I just had to respond to your question.
So glad you found it to your liking, worthy of your time. Happy 👏
It’s my pleasure. 😘
It was brilliant! Work well done!!!
Pingback: Week 4: Attributes to Being A Beauty-Full Person — An Espresso – Selma
Wonderful markers,Selma. You’ve covered it all. True beauty lies in how you treat others and how you carry yourself in times of success and in times of failure, how you pick yourself after falling and how you are willing to accept your mistakes and apologize. Happy to be reading your post again, Selma🙂❤️