The noblest job in the world
Every generation benefits from the one before it from laws, social rules, and norms set
in place. But before exposure to society at large, all children are exposed to the rules,
and norms of the home they are born into. What noble job parents are endowed with.
For this reason, parents are in the ideal position to empower the next generation in
beneficial ways at a time when children are most receptive.
As parents, our mission is to educate and empower our children about the power of our
daily choices and the huge impact these choices have on the health and well-being of
the children, society, and the planet. Children can inherit so much from their parents,
but pet peeves and harsh criticism should never be passed on.
If we work on these on ourselves, the disconcerting aspects of facing up with self-centered and opinionated youngsters we encounter today, our societies will change for the better. You’ve noticed young kids like that as well, haven’t you? Kids who feel they
need to add an opinion or voice a complaint to every situation. It’s frightening. No
wonder mental health issues are on the rise.
***
Pet peeves and criticism
We all have pet peeves, and everyone criticizes something now and then. These are
things/stuff/situations we do not like, things that get under our skin more than others
do. They’re annoyances we might consider rude or thoughtless in others.
For example, I wouldn’t say I like it when I’m standing in a doorway or narrow
passageway, holding a door open for, say, a mother with a stroller to pass through–
standing there waiting when the person behind me comes and aggravates the order of
what I see as an act of kindness on my part. Of course, the person coming along behind
me knows nothing of my heart and is oblivious to what’s going on in front of me.
Nonetheless, I feel my temperature rise when this happens. It’s my pet peeve.
I might criticize the person who came behind me with unkind words, speak in an
unnatural tone of voice, behave offended, or glance over at the person with a piercing
stare. All these forms of behavior convey criticism even when no words are uttered.
My child, my sensitive child — because they’re all sensitive — would then see my
behavior, subtle as it may be, and slowly start to imitate it in one form or the other.
He might get annoyed in the same way I expressed and all this, even without me
noticing that it’s happening.
I know, reining in our feelings of annoyance is not an easy thing to do, but when we
have little eyes soaking up everything we do, we must learn to tame our impulsive
reactions. A good approach would be NOT to condemn anyone. Not with words, not
with hostility, not with glances.
My advice is that we refrain from falling into a critical pattern of complaining too as
when we complain, we’re showing our little ones how to condemn. We’re teaching them
to zoom in on the parts that are wrong with our world and its people when what we
should be doing is help them see what is right with our world and its people.
Complaining has a place in this world, but that is not the topic I want to tackle.
Here, I want to steer the conversation into a positive place for parents and children.
Here’s a short story to help bring the point across:
One sunny weekend afternoon, The McCarthys are awaiting visitors — the kids’
grandparents. The table is set, and everything’s in order. While she changes into a clean
dress, Mommy sends six-year-old Milly and four-year-old J.J to the garden to pick up the
fallen petals of flowers in the garden. The children diligently obey, and when they re-enter, they have enough petals and flowers to please Grandma and Mommy.
Old enough to know what Mommy does with petals and flowers, Milly goes to the sink,
fills a small bowl with water, and transports it carefully to the table. But as she’s
setting it down on the table, it spills over, and– yes, that’s what happens!
Mommy walks out into the dining room just then. “Oh no! How could you be so clumsy,
Milly?” she says, annoyed.
Sheesh! We’ve all said things like this– many times reacting without thinking or
assessing the situation– sometimes even surprising ourselves.
All the older child wanted was to be helpful, show that she was eager to please, and
show she knew how. Calling little Milly clumsy damages her sense of self-worth.
Hold your tongue, Mommy. Change your tone.
But if the words have spilled out too fast already, stop and apologize. Kids take well to
sincere apologies. And please calm down; there’s no need to let such a mishap ruin the
day, especially after all the hard work you’ve put into making the visit a pleasant one
for all.
A better approach would be to compliment the children for trying to please and help
them with the cleanup. With a gentle tone and calm, Milly will feel appreciated and
loved. And little J.J? He will be soaking in the situation as well. He will be learning. You
can be sure of that!
***
My childrearing days are behind me now. Like all parents today, I did my best with the
two boys under my care. I stumbled at times, but for the most part, I raised two kids
who are kind and care about how they interact with others. If there’s anything that
resonated with you in this post, please let me know in the comments. It’s in our best
interest to treat our children with respect for they will then grow up seeing respectful
behavior as a worthy virtue to have. We’ll come to see less cynicism, criticism, and
aggression, and more kindness in the world.
That the noblest job in the world is that of a parent is no mistake. Do it with all your
heart and you would have done all of us a world of good. Parents rock!
Photo Image by Ben Kerckx from Pixabay
THANKS FOR READING
I Wish You Miracles.
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Beautiful post Selma. Kids do learn more from our behavior than our words.
Those little eyes follow us closely. And they are picking up everything. Indeed it’s a most wonderful job that pays in hugs and kisses that ground us and return us to ourselves. Thanks, Sadje. Blessing you. xoxo
You’re most welcome
It’s true Selma–our behavior will influence that of our children, and we pass our prejudices on if we make them evident. I certainly was far from a perfect parent, but luckily, my girls turned out well anyway. (K)
I believe everyone feels that way about this amazing job. But I’m sure that our best mattered. We did what we could and hope for the best, always. So glad you contributed to society this lovely way. The best job in the world… so happy I did my best. Blessings. xoxo
Thanks for sharing wisdom, Selma! Parenting is the toughest job you’ll ever love, I say.
Hehe. Lynn, yes. The toughest job you’ll ever and forever love– Nothing like it. The best job in the world. Our greatest contribution to society and our future. Thanks for reading and commenting, Lynn. I know you know… Blessing you.
lovely Selma .. teaching your children well. Love is everything but not always enough but the most satisfying and best gift of life! 💞
Love IS the greatest lesson, indeed, dear Cindy and we want this lesson to sink in early: We live in a love filled world. Bless you for reading and commenting. I bless you. Happy Vernal Equinox and Spring, dear one. Hope all’s going dandy for you. xoxo
Yes! We need to “help them see what is right with our world and its people.” Parenting is a tough job. My children are grown but I’m thankful to still have opportunities to encourage them.
Happy Vernal Equinox and Spring 2023, dear JoAnna. The toughest and bestest job in the world. It’s a hard balancing act. At best we must all strive to show our little ones what is right with our world and its people. Because, really, the world and its people are amazing. Thanks for responding to this post, and forgive my tardy acknowledgement. One day I will be all caught up. Blessings.
Nothing to forgive on being “tardy.” I’ll just trust the timing. The world and it’s people ARE amazing!
Blessings you. XoXo
<3
I always think about the school bullies and how they must have learned how to torment and dominate others at home and continued on to even worse social behavior, all because of a sad and unfortunate upbringing. Still, some people come out of horrible childhoods loving fiercely. And some parents can be kind and loving and yet raise a child with a personality disorder. Mental health issues are also a factor. It’s so complicated. Nonetheless, I agree that parents can be more aware of how their words and actions affect their children.
Barbara, forgive the late response. Happy Vernal Equinox and Spring 2023. It sure is a complicated issue. And doing our best IS indeed the best we can do. May this always be so. I appreciate you reading and commenting. So happy you read, dear friend. One of these fine days I will be all caught up, I hope. Blessings.
No problem! It’s difficult to keep up with all the comments. You’re doing fine! Blessings to you, too!