How to Honor the Muscle, No Matter how Small You See it Right Now

I grew up in a culture where people recited an unwritten mantra that sounded something like this, “I will be happy when I can… If I can…”
This mentality, as you can tell, comes with undercurrents of scarcity.
You can see that, right?

The future.
Oh, the anticipation of that day!
Oh, the happiness you’ll experience then!

This is what emotion researchers call the hedonic treadmill. It’s something they say
we do; working very hard to reach a goal that will result in happiness. Later.

Rational Creatures

The unwritten argument carries logic. It validates the wise ones for having the temerity
to know there will come a time better than now.

For sure, life has to be more than this.
Certainly, when and if whatever it is you see about to happen in the future happens,
that is sure to transform you into the happiest you’ve ever been.
And then you’ll enjoy living.
The logic gives the illusion of hope. You see that too, correct?

The optimistic bias feeds this logic. Want to know more, read all about it in the link.
It talks about us thinking of ourselves as rational creatures and gives evidence for why
our brains operate this way.

Rational creatures that we are, why do we tend to think that our future will be better
than our present? As if happiness was something to attain later?

Why shouldn’t you want to be always happy? Starting now?

Disillusion sets in

The impetus of the mantra starts with that goal for the future. But then you’d reach the
‘when and if’ condition in that future and disillusion would set in. You come to discover
that the promised happiness is elusive.

… something unreachable, unattainable in this lifetime. What do you do then?

Don’t give up

“Never give up on happiness, for life is an incredible show.” ~(Pope Francisco) Homily/
Sermon.

Happiness is a worthwhile goal. Those in poverty tend to believe that wealth brings
happiness. The rich might think that giving it all away is the way to happiness. Neither
is correct.

And then some tell it this way:

“Perversely, such efforts to improve happiness could be a futile attempt to swim against the tide, as we may actually be programmed to be dissatisfied most of the time. ‘You
cannot have it all’. Part of the problem is that happiness isn’t just one thing.” ~ Business Insider

“Happiness isn’t just one thing.”

Happiness is a muscle

Think of all the things you know about muscles and apply that knowledge to enhance
this message.

If you’ve been exercising that muscle for a while now, then you already belong to the
happy crowd. I commend you. I respect you.
Happiness begins the moment you begin. It also keeps on growing the more you flex it.
Keep at it.

If you have yet to start, I want to assure you that you already have a list of tools at your
disposal to get you started. These are not new. But today I invite you to see them in
light of a muscle. These are the same ones that have helped me to grow my own
muscle.

“If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.’
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
~Chinese Proverb

Let ME help YOU

1. Be grateful

Feel grateful for the things you already have. Utter appreciative words, no matter
how small the ‘thing’ is. Understand that the things you have and probably take for
granted might very well be the things others have on their ‘when and if lists’.
Appreciate what you already have.

2. Be mindful

There are others besides you on the planet, in your town, in the store. Acknowledge them. Practice kindness and compassion. Be an ambassador for the kind of mindset
you believe in.

3. Carve a way to find the middle ground

The middle is a good place to pivot. From that point try to show appreciation for
the things you’ve achieved, and wherever you can, share some of the shareable
things you have today. Tomorrow you might be the recipient.

4. Don’t be wasteful

Consume but don’t overindulge. Overstocking is wasteful too. Remember
minimalism? Always consider where things end up. You’ll be happier when
you do this.

5. Smile

Please smile. Give that away if you have nothing else to give. Many times, a smile
is the best thing you can give. You’ll see how happy receiving one back will make
you. Smile to yourself too. You’ll see how things start to feel differently after you
smile.

6. No, and Yes

You need to be able to say ‘No’ to stressful commitments that drag you down.
Adulting comes with obligations. If you can choose, choose wisely, at the right
time. Learn to recognize when the right time is. At the same time, try saying ‘Yes’
to those things you’ve always said no to too often. Again, when the time is right.
Exercise this human prerogative to rid yourself of toxic relationships that rob you
of happiness.

7. Sleep

Getting enough sleep should be a priority you should never overlook. Can’t, no
matter what — find a way to remedy this. Sleep affects every area of your life.
Make a good night’s sleep an essential in your life–Every night.

8. Don’t skip meals

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are meals. Snacks — practice your ‘yes-no’ muscle then. The point is to be healthy.

9. Find the good in every situation

Train yourself to look for something good in everyone and everything. If you
feel like it, say something nice out loud to someone else. Do it just because,
but, with honesty. And to yourself, be gentle.

10. Be present

In your day, be present. Don’t lose sight of the small things. Learn to savor them.
The past is over; the future is tomorrow, focus on right now all through the day.
Notice the thoughts that arise. Attend to them. Cross them off your list.
Pay attention to how your life is unfolding right now. Be mindful and present.

11. Be reverent

let the purity of the child that lives within you show you the awesomeness of life.
Life is an incredible show and you deserve to live it in happiness.

Everyone, no matter their background, creed, or culture, can benefit from happiness.
Happy people are good for the environment and a joy to have around. Flex your
happiness muscle right now. Right now is the only time that exists.

Start small and one day when you hear yourself saying, “Isn’t this great, right now?”
you can thank your happiness muscle for getting you there.
Here’s looking at you and your happiness. Right now!

THANKS FOR READING

This article was first published on Medium.

This article is 6 minutes long. It was a specific requirement from the publication I
wrote it for.

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Selma Martin

I’m a simple woman who dares to see the beauty in ordinary. I’d love to connect with you and like pen pals, I want something beautiful to blossom between us. Will you join me? Selma is my middle name. Its meaning—peaceful, complete, are euphoric affirmations I like to think of myself as having. They compliment the joy I feel when I write. I sincerely hope you decide to join me on my writing journey. I Wish You Miracles.

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