I Was an Avid Sleeper

I might have gone through a period when I stayed up late, studying, pulling an all-nighter, burning the midnight oil, but for most of my life, I’ve been a healthy sleeper. I’m one of the 97% of those for who six hours doesn’t cut it. And so, I made sure I got it– well, until pregnancy and hormonal imbalance changed all that, and I couldn’t.

If you were to ask me what I think was the most challenging thing about being with child, I’d promptly tell you that losing sleep was hellish, especially in the last trimester. I remember sitting out the early hours of dawn wondering why my fatigue didn’t let me sleep. I couldn’t understand it.

Now I know that my wakefulness was due to the ever-present metabolism of my baby — a metabolism that doesn’t slow down when evening comes. So yeah, guys, that was the most challenging part.

When I became a mother, one of the first pieces of advice I embraced wholeheartedly was:

“Sleep when your baby sleeps.” ~ sleep deprived mum memes

I said ‘thanks’ and grinned from ear to ear.

As if I needed someone to tell me that, I thought.  With all the kicking, hiccuping, frequent bathroom trips, and insomnia, I need no one’s permission to reclaim my avid sleeper pattern. This mama is going to work on her sleep.

But did I stick to my word? No, I did not.

When my baby slept, I got pulled into a staring game, mesmerized at the beauty of the little human. I stared for hours and strained to listen to his breathing during the day and on most nights.

Yes, I was tired all the time, but I sure didn’t mind doing it. Figuratively speaking, that’s when I started to burn the midnight oil for him.

Being Tired Is Part and Parcel of Parenting (laugh it out) 

Once we have children, our natural sleeping patterns are disturbed, and they continue to be interrupted for the next nineteen years.

Yep. You heard that correctly. It’s true.

The staring game aside, the sweet baby wakes up, you see, at the crack of dawn needing a feeding, and you, the parent, comply. As the months progress, it becomes a little less demanding, and you start to feel in-sync. It becomes so that you settle on a routine and your hours of sleep begin to gain momentum again. But just as you establish a good routine and you’ve finally won the bedtime battle, you notice that your precious baby is a teen.

What happens next is that your teen starts staying out late, and you–  you’re tired because you cannot fall asleep until that child’s home safe.

“I worry,” you tell him. “I cannot fall asleep until I know you’re in your bed.”

He looks at you as if you’re not speaking his language. “I’ll be okay — go to sleep,” he tells you. “You just gotta trust me.”

You trust your child, but there’s just so much you haven’t taught him about the world that you feel compelled to burn the midnight oil for him. Again.

Paradoxically, they take to burning their own midnight oil as well. But they didn’t learn that from you — oh no ma’am, they didn’t.

So yes, in my estimation, if you’re thinking of becoming a parent, pack your old sleep pattern into a box and store it in the attic for at least nineteen years. If you’re smart, you’ll want to look for that bottle of wine — you know, The bottle of wine you bought the year he was born — yes, that one, and put it in that box. It will mature nicely up there in the attic.

Open, sip slowly, and remember how it felt to be part of that miracle nineteen years ago, how it was all totally worth it. There’s no other job in the world that feels quite like parenting does.

If you’re there right now, you got this, know that you’re not alone. I’m rooting for you (please read postscript1 when you can).
If those days are behind you now, I’m rooting for you as well. Enjoy your wine and the next stage of growth (see postscript2). 

p.s.1 My tested 4-pointers for getting a night of quality sleep. 

p.s.2 How To Face the Morning With Zest. 

THANKS FOR READING.
I Wish You Miracles.