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Nothing Is Yours, Except Your Ability To Choose Your Focus

Lay hold of to-day’s task, and you will not need
to depend so much upon to-morrow’s.
” ~ Seneca

What does your to-do list look like?

Is your list long and curvy? Does it branch out and almost touch the sky? Mine
sometimes does, especially when going from one accomplishment to the next requires
I include time for someone else to get me there. And when the steps are manifold.

I worry then:
Will my request be expedited in a timely fashion?
Will I have enough time to take it from point A to B without delays?

But to worry about these things at this point is useless as I have no control
over anyone’s time frame but my own. If I drag my feet and leave stuff for the last minute, I open myself to uncertainty and worry. Stress.

I live a relaxed life right now, and I find that I can count on my affairs
to be looked after in a timely fashion here in Japan. I have no worries then because
we live in a service-oriented society.

But when I need to deal with people or institutions’ promises outside of Japan, I find I
need to keep knocking and knocking not to be forgotten. I cannot give specifics, but at the time of this post, I was faced with one such precipice. And I was reining in all my
efforts to do my part well. And that includes, instead of expecting others to speed things up for me, I invited presence on purpose to help me get my act together.

Having a clear schedule helps: knowing how much ‘time’ one has at one’s disposal
is the crux. In my case, that institution in question had given me six months (until June) to play with. But I didn’t play. As I said, I kept my presence known. Wrote emails in March to the party that held the most significant part in the smoothness of the outcome. Requested updates. But they were unresponsive. Unbelievable!

I did the same in April and May– June was right around the corner, and I couldn’t
proceed without their input. I started to intercede for them– in prayer.

I’m aware that the pandemic has slowed things dramatically for everyone, so I
channeled my prayers and the good vibes you sent me in their direction. And within
days got their attention. And what’s more, the alp of worry crumbled and gifted me
the good news: that trip I told you I had to make will not happen in June. Phew!

The odds are in my favor, and my options are more transparent. Things still need to run their course, but getting close to my manifested results has me satisfied.

My recipe for this is to be
– a tad bit more attentive to the process,
– a tad bit more appreciative of my abilities to reason and do for others
– a tad bit more appreciative of other people’s abilities too.

In interceding for them, I used all the resources available to me.

The people I was dealing with are not bad; they just run their affairs differently
than what I’ve gotten used to. I cannot change them, but by employing prayer in #2, I could get myself out of a situation that had me stressed out.

The point of this post: appreciate your abilities to reason, which include spirit, and use these well.

What about you? How do you deal with uncertainty and stress when faced with a
similar situation? Let me know in the comments, please.

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Thanks for reading this longish one. Be well my friends and I’m wishing you miracles.

Selma Martin
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This Post Has 28 Comments

  1. JoAnna

    I’ve been thinking about getting back to my writing schedule which I have allowed to be pushed to the back burner. Thank you for the reinforcement to focus on my priorities.

    1. Selma Martin

      Always a pleasure. JoAnna. We’re here to encourage each other. I bless you. XoXo

  2. Daphny Aqua

    Sometimes I wonder if I even have the time to sleep but then I remind myself I have to be kind to myself my body deserves a rest so I slow things down and try to catch up as much as I can.

    1. Selma Martin

      Don’t sabotage on your sleep. My sweet. Sometimes we just have to let go. Prioritize our attention. Sleep is not an option. Be well. I bless you. Xo

      1. Daphny Aqua

        Trying my very best but time seems slipping away too soon. Bless you too, take care. xoxo

  3. Sadje

    When I’ve too do something on my own it is my own schedule, but if I’ve too depend upon someone else, I usually leave it to them too work it out and let me know.

    1. Selma Martin

      Yes. And Most of the time it works out. Thanks for commenting. Sadje. Blessings.

      1. Sadje

        You’re welcome my friend

  4. Smitha V

    I’ve been feeling like this too- like things whirring out of my control. Its been stressful and I’ve had no time to read or write. Thank you for this reminder, Selma, to pause, pray and do what is in your control. I’m glad your issue got sorted out.

    1. Selma Martin

      We’re here to remind each other because we all need that extra push. Blessings.

  5. harmonykentonline

    I’ve learnt over the years that I can’t force things, and if I try, they have a tendency to not work out so well. Sometimes, the only thing I can do is leave all those juggling balls in the air and wait for each to drop. Takes lot of patience and courage! For me, one of the hardest things is sussing out when it’s time to wait and when it’s time to push. At the moment, I’m unable to make firm plans or schedule writing etc., and I’m having to just see how each day unfolds. Sending hugs 💕🙂

    1. Selma Martin

      I’d say you have a great strategy already. Yes, things do work out for the best in the end.
      Thanks for commenting. Blessings. XoXo

  6. Nope, Not Pam

    Sometimes I just laugh, and give up. What happens, happens … what doesn’t is something I don’t have to worry about

    1. Selma Martin

      Love it. You surrender and let the balls fall where they may. Lovely how you do it. Smartest way.
      Thanks for the comment. Blessings.

  7. Ingrid

    I am more relaxed about to-do lists these days. When I have an important project (like publishing a book!) I let the other things slide until I have time to deal with them…

    1. Selma Martin

      Prioritizing. Yup. It’s so important. Blessings. XoXo

  8. Ellie Thompson

    I’m not great with uncertainty. I find it hard to leave something up to someone else when it involves me being reliant on them to, for example, get me to an appointment on time. I’m used to doing my own thing, making my own arrangements, and staying as independent as possible. I don’t think it’s a trust issue, although I have been badly let down by a fair few people when I’ve had to be dependent on them. I also hate being late for anything and would instead turn up half an hour early, although I appreciate that might also not be convenient for others. It’s just getting the balance right, I guess. Perhaps, it’s a control issue – that feels like it fits and with good reason, given my past.

    As for my to-do list, it’s more like a spider diagram with arrows and offshoots going in different directions but all somehow linked. I doubt it would make sense to anyone else, but I can understand it perfectly and that’s what matters, I suppose. With a list like that, you’d be forgiven for thinking of me as an untidy person, whereas, the opposite is true (sometimes!). Take care, Selma xxx 💗

    1. Selma Martin

      Thanks for sharing this with me, Ellie. I don’t think of you as messy.
      Oh no. Be well dear one. I bless you.
      Hope you’re all better now. Vibes still coming your way. XoXo

  9. Cindy Georgakas

    The constant juggle so well said Selma.. 💖👏👏 I’m working on it!

    1. Selma Martin

      Juggling. Yes. We all do what we can. All the best. Stay sweet. Xoxo

  10. Tzvi Fievel

    When I reach the point of exhaustion, in trying to think about how I could bring about a desired end for the sake of the well-being of another person, I resort to completely turning over my concerns to G-d and trusting in Him for the outcome. The same is true for myself, in making any extensive plans that I would like to see enacted in the future; unable to see how something can feasibly occur, I sincerely pray in abandonment of my own attempts, and acknowledgment of my limited abilities. Yet, I think that these are both examples of waiting too long to beseech G-d, whereas I should do so from the beginning of any serious endeavor.

    1. Selma Martin

      It is so true to be reminded like this. When we pray and continue worrying it backfires really.
      We pray and then let it go: this is how it should be.
      Thanks so sweetly for reading and commenting. I appreciate you. Xoxo

  11. Jules

    I hope your situation relsoves well for all those involved. Sometimes just waiting works. I had a family situation in which I believed I had once again put my foot in my mouth… would I have to chew off my toes. I let the worry go and basically said what will be will be. I can only control my own actitons. Not getting answers to some questions, that is answer enough. Perhaps even acceptance that I can remove my foot from my mouth? As you say we cannot totally depend on others for the outcomes we want. But accepting what does happen – that is really the only control we have. 💖

    1. Selma Martin

      It has taken its course and the outcome is a positive one. Thanks. Jules.

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