I read that a couple of summers ago ten smart kids — kids with great grade point averages and high SAT scores — who had been accepted to Harvard got their admission offers to the prestigious school rescinded due to careless words they posted on social media.
It’s a pity, really.
But, though everyone knows that such smart kids must have had no difficulties entering other colleges, I hope their high scores were enough to help them bounce back. Words, written or spoken, have consequences.
Growing up, my friends and I recited the following sing-songy rhyme without giving thought to what we were saying:
Stick and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. – Children’s rhyme
How wrong!
I’ve no idea how these kinds of rhymes originate, but these naughty little jingles have a way of slithering into our cultures to become staples. And because they seem benign, they tend to take root and in time come to mold the way we think and behave. And to pass them as rhymes for children — sheesh, that’s just too careless.
But then, there’s The Good Book. Here, take a peek at what It teaches:
“But I tell you that men will have to give account
on the day of judgment for every careless word
they have spoken.
For by your words you will be acquitted,
and by your words, you will be condemned.” – Matt 12:36–37
Every Word? Now that’s strict!
But I think that strict is good. It makes us pause to question the wisdom and, hopefully, learn it.
I want to believe that Writers — that breed of humans who pay close attention to words — get it.
When attempting to get a precise message to their readers they search with diligence for that one word that will portray without frills or shtick the exact imagery that’s intended. Writers carefully dissect words.
If there’s a word that could become misconstrued in the order of the sentence good Writers go the extra mile and rework the sentence to assert it communicates an unequivocal message.
Is this practice limited only to the written word?
In the throngs of an argument with those closest to me, my husband and my children, I’ve found myself delivering words that put the writer in me to shame. Being a lover of words doesn’t buffer me from the uglies and there are no delete buttons to erase the words or to hide the repulsion I feel erupt in me when I slip that way. Never intentionally trying to be hurtful, yet failures like these frighten me.
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 NIV
Our God is all-loving. There is redemption for the weak and splintered but even after being redeemed by the grace of God more has to happen to heal completely.
See, while we might apologize in the right way about the slip of the tongue, time for mending needs to be allotted.
Mend what, you ask?
Mend feelings, of course.
Feelings and the fellowship we share with others are those bones the rhyme at the top alluded to.
And like any bone that’s been broken, relationships need to be set in a cast and attended to in order for them to heal.
This way, if tended well, our relationships will heal nicely. That is the hope.
As for those ten young people I mentioned at the start, I understand that the comments and pictures they shared on social media were considered racist, sexist and anti-Semitic and that they promoted pedophile and suicide.
That is what the article I read said.
All that from smart kids?
I don’t know.
Anyway, Harvard held them accountable.
It’s my hope that they got a good lesson out of this experience. I also hope that they found the wisdom in their folly and that from then on have paid more attention to their thoughts and words.
May we all strive to be more mindful of our words. The words on a page can be adjusted but the spoken ones, not so.
So please, let’s try to be more selective about the words we speak because sticks and stones and words do break bones.
THANKS FOR READING.
I Wish You Miracles.
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Selma,
A thought-provoking reminder: choose your words with care! (Spoken, printed, or posted online.)
I can’t recall who said, “Of your unspoken words you are master; your spoken words are master of you.”
And, words start with our thoughts, our minds. Making the changes, the input there. The latter is often the biggest challenge.
Yes, words are powerful—they are like swords, like the waves of the ocean—touching hearts—transports, transforms, and heals or pull down and destroy.
As writers, we have a choice, a great responsibility.
Thanks for sharing!
Selma,
I love your website!
What can be grander (and rewarding): finding the extraordinary in the ordinary.
PS It’s great news there’s a novel on the way!
Hi Danie… glad to know your feet walked you here today. *wink* You say some deep things there, dear friend. Thank you. Words matter; in all forms, they matter. Let’s all be more selective with the words we associate with.
AND, I’m so glad you noticed the words on the new ordinary website. I am so glad to find these two messages from you here today. Be well, dear one. I wish you Miracles. Selma.
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